I Tried (Loki)
by SephShadowsxoxo
Summary: He loved, he hoped,he cried, he was broken, he TRIED. (Loki Angst fic)
1. Death of a Star

Disclaimer: I don't own Loki, I only own the plot and OC's. :3

A/N: This is a story that was made due to roleplaying to once a friend of mine. It has two parts and this one was certainly I poured my feelings a lot. My character as Seph is there story made me cry. If it does to you guys let me know.

(This story was made months ago)

Warning: Angst.

**I Tried (Loki) **

The healing room was warm and bright but Loki's thought was elsewhere. He was sitting on one of the beds. He refuse to be healed. He growls angrily at the maiden who tried to heal his well bruised knuckles.

" But my prince, your brother had requested of this." insisted the maiden who tried to hold on her courage to try to wrap the white cloth on Loki's knuckles.

"Out with it you mewling quim!" he yelled his distaste at the maiden. With no qualms, she burst out the room nothing but only her faded sobs with her.

" Loki." A rather familiar voice started. He looked and saw the princess approaching him. He growled. He didn't want to be comforted. Except, if it was….

" I know Loki, everything of what you feel." She smiled sadly at him.

" The least I want is your sympathy, Seph. Leave me." He looked away fisting.

" I am not sympathizing you." She sobbed. He looked back. She was crying.

" Why do you cry? It was not you who lost her. It was I." he retorted, his voice sad and cracking.

In return, she stopped and wiped her tears. She hugged him before he can even react.

"The wound might be fresh right now. It pierces I know. But you shall be over with it soon." She pulled away. He wanted to protest but the feeling of remorse can't build the words he wanted to speak.

"You know I cannot." He huffed. He was burdened with agony. His defeat that was even more than having a throne. The dreams he wished shattered as so was the love that made him whole.

" What is more to live when I cannot be with her?" he started, his words builds more of the coursing pain inside him.

He heard her sigh and felt her palm against the back of his hand.

"Pain soothes." She summons bandages on his knuckles.

" Then I must do... to get over with this." He stood. Clutching his knuckles with the idea that was brought in his mind. He will end his misery.

" Loki, don't." The princess puts a hand over his shoulder as he breathed heavily.

"It burdens me." He said in a rather broken tone. His eyes swollen from deliberate crying and his knuckles are now covered with bandages .

" I know." She said sweetly but in a rather sad tone. " But she still lives. Find a way. Not this."

"I'll try." He said as he left the princess in the healing room.

The pain was soothing as he pushed the dagger hilt on his rather cold chest. The princess was right-the pain soothes.

_Zabelle._ He gasped looking over the dark sky.

_My star, I hope you well. I will watch over you forever. _

Tears starts rolling down his cheek as he felt the cold metal piercing him through.

She left him. And it was a defeat he couldn't take.

_What more of living when I can't be with you_? His chest heaved as blood pooled on his leather armor.

He staggered against the old willow tree of his mother's garden not breaking his stare on the star filled sky. If only he can turn back the time, he would do the things right. If only she knew how much she is dear to winced as he twists the handle of the dagger feeling much more of pain. He hissed. He wants more of this pain. As he sob against the hilt of the dagger on his chest. He was broken but even more than before.

He looked up again and saw a beautiful blue star. He smiled sadly remembering the pair of sapphire he once stared before.

Loki made a humming noise as his once glistening green eyes came duller than usual. His breath was shallow.

_Someday_. There didn't come another breath, Loki's eyes, now glassy orbs, stared into nothing.

To be continued...

* * *

A/N: Actually it's me who lost my friend, not by death though but because of mistakes I made, reading this again makes me remember it. This story was made when we were both are still friends...hence, one of our memories.

Don't forget to review and let me know your critics


	2. I Tried

Disclaimer: I only own the concept and my OC's.

A/N: Loki's POV. I really poured out Loki feels on this. His way of talking and stuff. So the continuation of 'I tried'.

(Sephany's POV)

The night was solemn over Asgard until the cry of the queen was heard. Thor and I were resting in our chambers that night when we heard her wail. Thor and I jolted right out of our bed, grabbing hastily at our robes and run where we heard of it.

"I hope I'm wrong." I muttered as ran. I know something's not right by the time he left me in the healing room. It was a buzzing sound in my ear and that sudden solemn feeling. Something was definitely wrong.

We reached the healing room, but as our sight had seen the view. We were taken aback. I heard Thor gasp in chorused of mine. My eyes couldn't believe what was I was seeing right now.

_Loki._

His face was flushed. His raven black hair fell across his pale face. His lips were cracked and his head hung down his mother arms as she was violently shaking as she held him. Lady Frigga wasn't to contain her cries. The warriors three stood there with their head hung low.

Thor was taken aback from his steps-knees trembling at the sight that he almost couldn't believe.

His brother, Loki, lifeless in his mother's arms

"L-loki." Voice trembling, he staggered forward but Seph restrains him . The pain Thor felt was unbearable. He felt like he's been crushed into nothing. He loved his brother too much and everyone of asgard knows of it. He loves him more than anything else- just as he love his princess. But the brotherly bonds were different as Thor now with no control tried to pushes her heathen embrace. His mind repeatedly saying : _loki, loki, loki._

Seph, with no qualms, hug him in her might. The loss of a brother, a vague familiar pain she cannot contain. She knows how it feels like to loss a brother and a lover. She knows how Loki felt all along.

Thor was trembling as he return her embrace, crying over her shoulder. She rubs his back trying to sooth the pain. But pain like this can't be sooth. It's an unbearable burden.

_This is the 5__th__Midgardian week since the day I have lost her. I stood here before the light that had shone over her window. I sighed as I've always have anticipated for her to speak to me. I awaited yet another day out her window waiting to be notice. I only hope for her to see my sentiment. I, who stood here not in the shadows of my thick pride that I have melted for her. _

_ I saw the curtain move and I stood upright with nothing but a smile upon my face- A hopeful smile. There was nothing left but to hold on to the little faith I had. I watched idly as her hands parted the curtains to greet the morning light. A breathy chuckle of anticipation held me that I wasn't able to stand with eloquence as I did before. _

_ "Zabelle." I called onto her, her beautiful blue eyes gaze down on me but her face was with no emotion. Nothing. Not resentment, not happiness. I wave my hand and I regret I did, she moved away from the window. Nevertheless, she left the curtain apart. In my thoughts I cannot help but wonder if she's testing me. To leave the curtains apart and make me yearn more of her. _

_ No. I must not contemplate these delirious thoughts. I am not here to commiserate and make conspiracies._

_I am here to prove myself to her, like I have done always._

_ The smell of cooking meat instead greeted me thatI wasn't able to notice I was salivating pathetically. I must ignore the intoxicating smell. I am not here to satisfy what I want. I am here to gain what I need. Zabelle. That I, would not give up on this. I must prevail. For I was burdened with a glorious is to prove myself that I am deemed worthy of her affections._

_ I was taken aback. The smell was tempting as it is, for I haven't eaten for weeks since the day I lost her. I cannot bare myself to lavish what was set in the table. No matter how it was tempting to see how Voltstagg have eaten. My heart hungers only for her love._

_ I might have loss the span of time. I reminisced back when I last touched what has left of her against the willow tree. That moment, when I seemed to feel nearly defeated but she never falters to remind me that she's still there. Now, I am alone. Here, nothing by my cold self and unseen sentiment. Reduce to nothing but failure. I who once was witted turned into but a fool. Was it I? Was I a fool to let myself love?_

_I was a fool. Fool to let myself fall and fall over again. How could I resist to fall for such kind? She who can hold out my silvertongue. She who was there when I was shattered to nothing. She who accept me for who I am and not what I have done before._

_ It pains me._

_ It pains me to put to thought that perhaps she doesn't care of me. _

_"Leave." She said. Her voice in my head. That voice. I knew of a lie for I am a god who knew of such but she's no simple creature, she's special. I cannot seem to read her like an open book. She's different. She's unique and most beautiful. Least call me a fool, but I love her._

_ The seething burn of the heat against my skin was unbearable. Apollo. I looked up to the sun that he ride-nothing but another burning star to heat this realm. mortified?_

_ "Ahhh." _ Loki hissed as he can feel his skin starting to steam. _So this is what has become of me. _

_ Pathetic heat.. If they thought I would give up that easily. If that mewling toaster still tries to melt whatever is left of me. I swear by the norns, I cannot be defeated that easily._

His throat constricted. His mouth parted to breathe, but it felt like nothing but sands in his mouth. Too dry. Loki braced himself to stand upright, but unable to hide the sweat and the heavy pants. The scorching heat was far too much to handle.

_I choose to ignore as looked back to the window seemingly untouched. Not a silhouette had looked over._

_ Is this another obsession? _He asked himself.

_Even so before she told me that is the least she wants me to be. I want to prove her wrong but I was too scared to lose her. This is not obsession. This is not madness. I love her with all my heart that beats with warmth when I'm with her. I couldn't simply let her go. She made me whole again. This love I have for her is found within the verge of my obsession. The obsession of ruling the worlds, such poisonous dreams but with her those were just imaginable slights._

_ I love her. Why can't they see that I do? I may be a trickster but I do not trick her to feel as I do for her. I may be the renown lies-smith , the silver-tongue but I never had made a way with her through words of silk but words of truth. _

_ And she was the only girl who said she could trust someone like me._

_ Thunder had made a way with my thoughts as I look up the hovering dark clouds above me. Is this Thor helping me to ease the burn that had made by that curse mewling toaster? Or is this Zeus, cursing me with all his might?_

Within milliseconds,Lightning struck the god to his feet. Loki screamed in agony, the electricity strikes so deep within him. The thunder rumbled even louder that he can feel the ground shook. Lighting smites him repeatedly as he flinched at every strike, pursing his lips to bite his screams.

_ This.. pain.. is… nothing… This.. pain.. _He was on his knees as the grass beside him burnt.

_I cannot stop now. I looked at the window. Still not a silhouette had look over. It pains me more to know has she not cared. _

_ I promise to not give up on her. I promise her I'll be there for her but where is she? Has she left me here waiting for nothing at all?_

_For weeks here I am not giving up on her for she told me to never give up. To never give up on us._

_I tried to conceal myself to her but it seems she won't let me in her thoughts. I tried once more in her dreams but she have not come to see me._

_As I looked at her untouched window to see but dark room, I felt the tiredness starting to overpower me. The tiredness of which I doubt I have felt for a long time; The feeling of true defeat._

_ I have loss her but there is still one thing I could do. One last thing. _

_I stood against the pain that was taken. I can feel the electricity cursing on my veins. I walk painfully at the door. My hands trying to fist but they are but stiff against each other. It was until now I have seen how stretch they seemed. Nevertheless, it was not beauty I would want to possess. It was Zabelle, my love. I want and need her . I need her so bad I would give up my life for her. I would fight even if it means Death._

_ Death. I feel shattered but I stop my thoughts and breathed my last hope. I tried to knock on my but stiff hand. _

_ The door opened. I backed away. And once again I stood trying to stand in eloquence and smiled, a hopeful smile that I will have to hold on for this last._

* * *

As the door opened for Loki, his smiled turn down when he was greeted by a familiar gun.

"I told you to stay away from my daughter haven't I?" had the gun aim at Loki's throat. Loki couldn't help but gulp, pride was nothing to be of help now.

"I only want to speak to her ma'am." He try to say firmly in his but shaking voice . He looked to her seething stares. Trying to seek some mercy.

"She doesn't want you in her life anymore. Don't you understand?!" She yelled with distaste as she cock the gun, moving forward not even pulling the gun away against loki's throat.

"I need her ma'am. I love her so much. I just can't give up on her ma'am. Please have mercy." Said Loki in tears, in hope that she would give him a chance, even how many times he had ask of her. He still hopes the answer would change. For once, he wanted to win this time. Not for selfish obsession, but for LOVE.

"Why can't you just- . hand was shaking but she took courage. She was about to pull the trigger and end Loki's misery.

"MOM NO!" Zabelle grab the gun away from her mother. Her eyes was but swollen, her once blue electric eyes turned dull. Her stare caught into loki's. Still he manage to smile at her.

"Zabelle." He called hopefully.

"LEAVE." Was the painful retort and Loki was taken aback. had her arms cross, a smug smile of satisfaction held her lips.

* * *

_Leave. She said it again, now but full distaste and force in her voice. I can feel the pain cursing to me like a thousand mile. Zabelle._

_I watch her mother pulled her away from me as I do nothing but shudder at the pain of one word. Leave._

_ The pain was too much, too heavy. I am defeated. I look back again as the door shut loudly it was the only sound that cast upon my ear._

_I am shattered. Living without her is like drowning in the past. It felt not living at all. The tiredness I felt was unbearable inside and out. _

_ Zabelle, my love, my star. You are but my life. Without you I am not complete. Without you there wouldn't be us. But I couldn't do this alone, I need you. Now you tell me to leave. What is living without you? Tell me. You don't ruin me Zabelle, you are my love. _

_ I looked and turned away. The great pain held me inside I felt nothingness now._

_I'm sorry Zabelle. I tried._

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A/N: So what do you think of the story. Did it somehow touched you heart in a way? Cried? I anticipate your reviews and constructive critisms . Till the next story.

-Seph


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